Sympathy for the Tory

Please allow me to introduce myself,
I’m a man of wealth and taste.
I’ve ruled your lives for three centuries,
Sacked every rise of a welfare state.

I was around when Julian Assange
Revealed the truth for you to face.
Made damn sure that UK law
Washed its hands and sealed his fate.

Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name.
But what’s puzzling me is why you
Vote for more of the same.

I stuck around Orgreave colliery
When I saw it was the time for a change,
Broke the miners and their unions,
Laughed as thousands striked in vain.

I sold arms to a Saudi Prince
When the famine raged in the war he waged.
Exported Windrush immigrants,
Raised three million kids on a poverty wage.

Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name.
But what’s puzzling me is why you
Vote for more of the same.

I watched with scorn as your common-born
Voted a hundred years for the House of Racketeers.
I shouted out: ‘Who burned Grenfell?’
When all along it was me in Hell.

Let me please introduce myself,
I’m a man of wealth and taste.
For the poor and sick I cut benefits,
Then cut taxes for my rich mates.

Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name.
But what’s confusing me is why you
Keep voting for the same.

Just as every cop is a criminal,
And all politicians on the make,
Since red is blue: ‘Just call me Tony’,
Cause in the end we’re all the same.

So when you meet me have some certainty,
Have some sympathy and some taste.
Use all your hard-earned suffrage
And I’ll lay your world to waste.

Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name.
But what’s puzzling me is why you
Vote for more of the same.

– after Mick Jagger

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